For thousands of years, doctors treated everything from fevers to headaches by draining a patient’s blood. This practice stemmed from the ancient belief in balancing the four bodily humors; an excess of blood was thought to cause illness history.com jlgh.org . Techniques ranged from cutting veins with lancets to applying leeches.

One of the oldest surgical procedures, trepanation involved drilling or scraping a hole in the skull to treat ailments like seizures, headaches, or mental illness. Ancient skulls from the Stone Age show survivors of this practice, which was often intended to release evil spirits or relieve pressure

A night with Venus, a lifetime with Mercury” warned a saying about syphilis – and indeed, for centuries the go-to treatment was mercury in various forms

In Georgian-era England, if you nearly drowned, rescuers might literally “blow smoke up your rear.” An official resuscitation kit from the 1770s included bellows and a pipe for pumping tobacco smoke into the victim’s rectum

Early modern Europeans once routinely dosed themselves with human body parts. Powdered Egyptian mummy, human fat, and powdered skull were sold in apothecaries as medicines for everything from headaches to epilepsy

In Restoration-era Europe, a bizarre “magnetic” cure held that one could heal wounds by treating not the patient, but the weapon that caused the injury. The powder of sympathy was applied to the sword or bandage, and – via mysterious sympathy – the patient’s wound would supposedly heal

After radium’s discovery in 1898, the public went mad for its supposed health benefits. Entrepreneurs introduced “mild radium therapy” – radioactive potions, creams, and gadgets – claiming they could cure arthritis, impotence, and more

In the 19th century, the catch-all diagnosis of “female hysteria” was used for women with anxiety, irritability, or really any behavior not fitting the norm. One peculiar remedy was the doctor-administered pelvic massage to induce “hysterical paroxysm” – essentially, an orgasm – believed to relieve symptoms.